Age 21 to 36 ... Marian
For most of this period of my life, there was only one relationship. For some reason I'll never know, after leaving home, I had no thoughts to be 'young, free and single' and live a fun life of a young bachelor for a while. I wanted to be married. Pretty much as soon as I started work at Bickley Park, I was on the search for a girlfriend. I joined a club called 18+, which met weekly in the back room of a pub in Bromley. 18+ was aimed pretty squarely at people like me. They organised social events, quizzes, countryside walks and so-on, and also held occasional discos. It was at one such disco, just a couple of months after starting my working life, that I met Marian.
Marian was then a newly started, 18 year-old first year student at Stockwell College of Education in Bromley. Yes - she was training to be a teacher, so straight away, we had a lot in common. She was slim, had long hair, and was very pretty. Just my type, then! She was also caring and intelligent, and shared my sense of humour. In short - we got on really well. It wasn't long before I was spending a lot of time in the evenings at Stockwell. Student life all felt so natural to me, having so recently left my own teacher training college. Marian was living in digs at the time, but just like at Bedford, she spent much time with her college friends who lived in halls of residence - so I became friends with Marian's friends.
Being a dashing young fully qualified teacher at this time, with money, a car and my own bed-sit. I may have been quite a catch for a nubile but possibly naive young student. While Marian was still at college, I proposed marriage to her, and she accepted. Her parents weren't too chuffed at the time - they hoped she would stay on at college to take a B.Ed degree, which was then a popular add-on to the Cert.Ed teacher training course. But Marian and I were determined to wed as soon as she achieved her teaching qualification. We did not want to live-on in Bickley, with me teaching at Bickley Park, so I resigned and sought a job elsewhere. Once I secured my post at Feltham School, (see Work>), Marian also sought a post in the same area, and was successful in getting a teaching post at Alexandra Junior School in Hounslow.
Married
Marian and I were married in a traditional white lace wedding at the Parish Church of Marian's home town of Shoreham-by-Sea on 9th August 1975. As a married couple, we immediately moved into our little maisonette in Hanworth. (See Home>).
In my mid-teens, I had made the decision that I would never father children. I was, and still am, anxious about the future of planet Earth, and was determined that adding more humans to the already overpopulated planet was something I did not intend to do. I discussed my ideals with Marian before proposing to her, and she was in agreement with me. During our marriage, I underwent a vasectomy, which sealed my commitment never to breed. This is a decision I have never regretted.
Marian and I loved our little home and its little garden and we very quickly settled into routines revolving round our work and home. We lived a very respectable and rather ordinary life. We visited our parents almost every weekend, mine one week, Marian's the next. Marian learned to drive, passing her test at the first attempt. The first car we bought for Marian was a Singer Chamois - the 'posh' version of a Hillman Imp. This meant I then I had two cars to play with!
Being a dashing young fully qualified teacher at this time, with money, a car and my own bed-sit. I may have been quite a catch for a nubile but possibly naive young student. While Marian was still at college, I proposed marriage to her, and she accepted. Her parents weren't too chuffed at the time - they hoped she would stay on at college to take a B.Ed degree, which was then a popular add-on to the Cert.Ed teacher training course. But Marian and I were determined to wed as soon as she achieved her teaching qualification. We did not want to live-on in Bickley, with me teaching at Bickley Park, so I resigned and sought a job elsewhere. Once I secured my post at Feltham School, (see Work>), Marian also sought a post in the same area, and was successful in getting a teaching post at Alexandra Junior School in Hounslow.
Married
Marian and I were married in a traditional white lace wedding at the Parish Church of Marian's home town of Shoreham-by-Sea on 9th August 1975. As a married couple, we immediately moved into our little maisonette in Hanworth. (See Home>).
In my mid-teens, I had made the decision that I would never father children. I was, and still am, anxious about the future of planet Earth, and was determined that adding more humans to the already overpopulated planet was something I did not intend to do. I discussed my ideals with Marian before proposing to her, and she was in agreement with me. During our marriage, I underwent a vasectomy, which sealed my commitment never to breed. This is a decision I have never regretted.
Marian and I loved our little home and its little garden and we very quickly settled into routines revolving round our work and home. We lived a very respectable and rather ordinary life. We visited our parents almost every weekend, mine one week, Marian's the next. Marian learned to drive, passing her test at the first attempt. The first car we bought for Marian was a Singer Chamois - the 'posh' version of a Hillman Imp. This meant I then I had two cars to play with!
We were always the best of friends. We talked to each other about everything, seldom squabbled, and shared everything we did with a joint enthusiasm. But, on considered reflection, and with the experience of age, I have now come to the conclusion that sadly, we were never deeply in love with each other.
I can now look back and see that as the years passed, we both subconsciously began to look for excitement in ways we weren't getting from our relationship. I learned to ride a motorcyle, and bought a new 400cc Honda, which Marian never even sat on, let alone rode with me. We sold our much loved, neat suburban semi-detached house in Sunbury and bought a modern 4-bedroom executive-style detached house in Bracknell. This gave us a long commute to work every day, though we were able to travel together. On the credit side, in Bracknell, I was living closer to my parents in Winnersh.
Marian and I gradually grew further apart emotionally, though continued to live together without any arguments or rows, and we remained friends. For reasons I have never been able to fathom out, we never made any attempt to repair what was going wrong in our relationship.
Then, in November 1986, Becky came into my life. My involvement with Becky forced Marian to seek company elsewhere, and she soon met a man named Roy. Marian moved out of our marital home early in 1988. Our divorce was finalised on 6th July of the same year. Marian later married Roy, and to my deep regret, there is no longer any communication between us.
To my grave, I will be sorry for the hurt that I caused to Marian at the end of our relationship.
I can now look back and see that as the years passed, we both subconsciously began to look for excitement in ways we weren't getting from our relationship. I learned to ride a motorcyle, and bought a new 400cc Honda, which Marian never even sat on, let alone rode with me. We sold our much loved, neat suburban semi-detached house in Sunbury and bought a modern 4-bedroom executive-style detached house in Bracknell. This gave us a long commute to work every day, though we were able to travel together. On the credit side, in Bracknell, I was living closer to my parents in Winnersh.
Marian and I gradually grew further apart emotionally, though continued to live together without any arguments or rows, and we remained friends. For reasons I have never been able to fathom out, we never made any attempt to repair what was going wrong in our relationship.
Then, in November 1986, Becky came into my life. My involvement with Becky forced Marian to seek company elsewhere, and she soon met a man named Roy. Marian moved out of our marital home early in 1988. Our divorce was finalised on 6th July of the same year. Marian later married Roy, and to my deep regret, there is no longer any communication between us.
To my grave, I will be sorry for the hurt that I caused to Marian at the end of our relationship.