Age 36 to 45 ...Becky
My relationship with Becky, which began in November 1986, was the reason for my divorce which was finalised in July 1988.
Being with Becky brought me the excitement that was missing in my relationship with Marian. Becky was very young, energetic, lively and eager. She rapidly became heavily dependent on me, and was always willing to go anywhere and do anything which would bring us both pleasure. We did some crazy things! With Becky, I discovered the meaning of the word 'love'. My heart soared when I was with her, and I pined when we were apart. She was my 'someone special' and I truly loved her.
For a while, circumstances meant we were only able to be together at weekends. We wrote long letters to each other almost daily, and spent hours on the phone. After the sale of my Bracknell house, I rented a flat in Ashford, Middlesex for six months, during which time I managed to secure a new teaching post in Gillingham, Kent, and bought a house for Becky and I to share in nearby Walderslade. (See work> and home>)
In spite of her youth, Becky had a level of maturity and 'street wisdom' that enabled her to associate with older people with ease. Indeed, she did not seek out people of her own age as friends. There was a huge age gap between us. I was 35, Becky still in her teens. Much of the time, this age gap was not an issue at all for us or for our friends. Even my parents took to Becky, appreciating the happiness that being with her brought into my life. She was fond of my parents, too - more-so than her own parents at the time, who she didn't see very often in our early years together.
Becky was ambitious. She had had a difficult childhood and school life, and left school at 16 with virtually no qualifications. Her first job was in a factory in West London, making road signs. When we moved to live together in Kent, Becky worked in a local supermarket, and later in a petrol station. But she had much grander ideas - to be a model. Together, we worked hard on this dream. We understood that a good route into modelling was for her to become a beauty queen, so for a while, Becky and I attended a number of beauty pageants, making contacts and learning the ropes. I even managed to get myself some commissions photographing some of the very lovely contestants - just another bonus of living with Becky !
Becky soon became noticed by a professional photographer or two, and that led to some studio work. But in spite of her perfect figure, she was not tall enough for fashion modelling. However, as she was far from shy, and was ever happy to be the centre of attention, she took to glamour work. This involved removing most of her clothes, or posing in lingerie. I often went along with Becky to photo shoots, and was able then to make use of the studios myself. I took an awful lot of pictures of Becky in those days!
Being with Becky brought me the excitement that was missing in my relationship with Marian. Becky was very young, energetic, lively and eager. She rapidly became heavily dependent on me, and was always willing to go anywhere and do anything which would bring us both pleasure. We did some crazy things! With Becky, I discovered the meaning of the word 'love'. My heart soared when I was with her, and I pined when we were apart. She was my 'someone special' and I truly loved her.
For a while, circumstances meant we were only able to be together at weekends. We wrote long letters to each other almost daily, and spent hours on the phone. After the sale of my Bracknell house, I rented a flat in Ashford, Middlesex for six months, during which time I managed to secure a new teaching post in Gillingham, Kent, and bought a house for Becky and I to share in nearby Walderslade. (See work> and home>)
In spite of her youth, Becky had a level of maturity and 'street wisdom' that enabled her to associate with older people with ease. Indeed, she did not seek out people of her own age as friends. There was a huge age gap between us. I was 35, Becky still in her teens. Much of the time, this age gap was not an issue at all for us or for our friends. Even my parents took to Becky, appreciating the happiness that being with her brought into my life. She was fond of my parents, too - more-so than her own parents at the time, who she didn't see very often in our early years together.
Becky was ambitious. She had had a difficult childhood and school life, and left school at 16 with virtually no qualifications. Her first job was in a factory in West London, making road signs. When we moved to live together in Kent, Becky worked in a local supermarket, and later in a petrol station. But she had much grander ideas - to be a model. Together, we worked hard on this dream. We understood that a good route into modelling was for her to become a beauty queen, so for a while, Becky and I attended a number of beauty pageants, making contacts and learning the ropes. I even managed to get myself some commissions photographing some of the very lovely contestants - just another bonus of living with Becky !
Becky soon became noticed by a professional photographer or two, and that led to some studio work. But in spite of her perfect figure, she was not tall enough for fashion modelling. However, as she was far from shy, and was ever happy to be the centre of attention, she took to glamour work. This involved removing most of her clothes, or posing in lingerie. I often went along with Becky to photo shoots, and was able then to make use of the studios myself. I took an awful lot of pictures of Becky in those days!
We also dreamed up some publicity stunts, to try to get Becky's face better known. One was for her to drive my Triumph sports car from Lands End to John O' Groats, topless. (It was the car which was to be topless...). This jaunt caught the imagination of a few newspapers, and Becky's photo appeared in most of our local papers as well as some of the national dailies, which we were well pleased about.
Those first few exciting years of living with Becky were a whirl of new experiences. I went to places and saw things and did things that I had never even known about. At times, our relationship was tempestuous. Becky could be hard work! She had some serious hang-ups, which probably stemmed from her childhood, and the attitudes and opinions of photographers and other models with whom she associated didn't make things any easier. But with the rough came the smooth, and we had some seriously good times together which lasted for about six great years.
But... as I had always felt was inevitable from the very start of our relationship, our big age difference, combined with Becky's determination to fly ever higher, began to drive a wedge between us. She was working all hours, usually these days as an exotic dancer, and earning huge money. But I no longer went with her to her jobs. We did less and less together as a couple, eventually living completely separate lives, but still sharing a house.
Becky finally moved out around Christmas 1994. By then, I was fully prepared for the separation which was by then quite clearly the right thing for both of us. Becky needed to move on, but we parted as friends.
I have kept occasionally in touch with Becky ever since.
Those first few exciting years of living with Becky were a whirl of new experiences. I went to places and saw things and did things that I had never even known about. At times, our relationship was tempestuous. Becky could be hard work! She had some serious hang-ups, which probably stemmed from her childhood, and the attitudes and opinions of photographers and other models with whom she associated didn't make things any easier. But with the rough came the smooth, and we had some seriously good times together which lasted for about six great years.
But... as I had always felt was inevitable from the very start of our relationship, our big age difference, combined with Becky's determination to fly ever higher, began to drive a wedge between us. She was working all hours, usually these days as an exotic dancer, and earning huge money. But I no longer went with her to her jobs. We did less and less together as a couple, eventually living completely separate lives, but still sharing a house.
Becky finally moved out around Christmas 1994. By then, I was fully prepared for the separation which was by then quite clearly the right thing for both of us. Becky needed to move on, but we parted as friends.
I have kept occasionally in touch with Becky ever since.
Young, free and single - again
Or maybe not quite so young... but certainly free and single. Here was I, age 43, and living on my own for the very first time in my life!
Although computers were beginning to creep into schools and businesses, internet dating was still a few years away. But the local paper carried a popular 'lonely hearts' column, and I made full use of that. It was amazing! The world was suddenly full of single women, and most of them seemed only too keen to throw themselves at me. My most successful 'male seeks female' advert was supposedly composed by my dog, and read along the lines of 'Male dog, tall, slim, single (5) seeks human female to accompany my owner (also tall, slim and single, 43) on our walks in the countryside and on the beach, and maybe evenings by the fire'. I was inundated with replies, many of them supposedly coming from female dogs. Good fun!
The majority of the ladies I met, I met only the once. Some were going through divorce, some had children. Usually, we would arrange to meet in a pub, so it was easy enough to have a chat over a drink, and then be on our way. It really doesn't take long to know whether or not you are going to want to see someone again! There were a few girls who I met a handful of times, and one or two I shared a night with, but mostly it was a quick chat and then, with a smiling handshake and 'nice to have met you', off home alone.
At Halloween, 1996, I was invited to go to a party in Maidstone by a lady I had met a couple of times. Once at the party, she set off to chat with several people there who she knew, largely ignoring me, so I wandered off to find some nibbles. There, at the buffet table, over a bowl of Doritos, I began chatting to Sue> ...
Or maybe not quite so young... but certainly free and single. Here was I, age 43, and living on my own for the very first time in my life!
Although computers were beginning to creep into schools and businesses, internet dating was still a few years away. But the local paper carried a popular 'lonely hearts' column, and I made full use of that. It was amazing! The world was suddenly full of single women, and most of them seemed only too keen to throw themselves at me. My most successful 'male seeks female' advert was supposedly composed by my dog, and read along the lines of 'Male dog, tall, slim, single (5) seeks human female to accompany my owner (also tall, slim and single, 43) on our walks in the countryside and on the beach, and maybe evenings by the fire'. I was inundated with replies, many of them supposedly coming from female dogs. Good fun!
The majority of the ladies I met, I met only the once. Some were going through divorce, some had children. Usually, we would arrange to meet in a pub, so it was easy enough to have a chat over a drink, and then be on our way. It really doesn't take long to know whether or not you are going to want to see someone again! There were a few girls who I met a handful of times, and one or two I shared a night with, but mostly it was a quick chat and then, with a smiling handshake and 'nice to have met you', off home alone.
At Halloween, 1996, I was invited to go to a party in Maidstone by a lady I had met a couple of times. Once at the party, she set off to chat with several people there who she knew, largely ignoring me, so I wandered off to find some nibbles. There, at the buffet table, over a bowl of Doritos, I began chatting to Sue> ...